A few years ago, a friend told me a story about her young son that’s stuck with me ever since.
She and her husband had gotten a magazine subscription for their daughter — one designed to encourage girls to think bigger about their potential. It was filled with articles about careers in STEM, stories of women breaking barriers, and messages about how girls can be heroes.
One afternoon, her son was flipping through an issue. He stopped at a page, looked up at his mom, and asked:
“Why can’t boys be heroes?”
That question landed hard.
Because somewhere along the way, while we’ve been rightly encouraging girls to reach higher and dream bigger, the narrative for boys has been different. Too often, the story about men focuses only on the harm we’ve caused — not on the good we’re capable of. In the process, we’ve failed to give boys a clear picture of what healthy masculinity looks like, what strength can mean beyond domination, and how men can have a positive impact on the world.
That silence has left a gap — one that the toxic corners of the manosphere have been all too eager to fill.
This blog is my attempt to answer that boy’s question.
For a long time, I thought I knew what being a man was supposed to look like. Strong. Stoic. Provider. Don’t cry. Don’t ask for help. Don’t show too much softness. I spent decades trying to force myself into that mold — and the truth is, it broke me more than it built me.
I’ve been divorced twice. I’ve had relationships fall apart because I wasn’t honest with myself or the people I loved. I thought projecting strength meant shutting down my emotions. I avoided asking for help because I believed men weren’t supposed to need it. All of that left me disconnected, ashamed, and carrying the quiet weight of not living true to who I really was.
Therapy helped. Reflection helped. The long, uncomfortable work of owning my mistakes and letting go of old patterns helped. But what shifted everything was realizing that integrity and authenticity matter more than pretending to fit a script. When I stopped performing and started telling the truth — first to myself, then to others — life began to feel different. Not easier, but lighter.
That shift changed how I show up as a father, a partner, a friend, and a leader.
Men Beyond Myths is my attempt to put words around this journey. It’s not a manual or a set of answers. It’s a space to wrestle with questions like:
- What does it mean to be strong without shutting down your emotions?
- How do we own our mistakes without letting shame define us?
- What do relationships look like when they’re built on honesty instead of performance?
- How can men show up in ways that are healing, not harmful — for ourselves and the people we love?
You’ll find reflections here, some hard-won lessons, and maybe even a little humor to keep it human. My hope is that by sharing openly — the failures, the growth, and the ongoing work — others might see their own story somewhere in mine.
If you’ve ever felt trapped by someone else’s definition of manhood, I get it. I’ve been there. This space is for you too.
Welcome to Men Beyond Myths.