A Mid-Movember Self-Care Check-In

Halfway through Movember, I realized my own self-care had drifted. Between a breakup, hyperfocus, and avoidance disguised as productivity, here’s what I’m adjusting this week—therapy, sleep, simple meals, and slowing down.

Where are you maintaining, and where are you quietly avoiding?

(New here? Start with the Movember essay and our resource hub: Grow More Than a Mustache • You Are Not Alone – Mental Health & Suicide Resources)

I ended a relationship last week. It was really just saying out loud what had been happening for a couple of months. We’d grown distant and couldn’t find our way back. No villains here—just the truth of two people drifting.

Without really noticing, I've been in hyperfocus mode. I’ve been making big strides on a mobile app that’s been a brainchild of mine for over a decade. It felt good—like rediscovering a gear I worried I’d lost. I was bouncing between coding, the gym, and a new game (Hollow Knight: Silksong—if you know, you know), and then doing the “normal life” stuff: cooking, house care, time with people I love.

It took the weekend to admit I was also running from myself. My inbox is full of messages I barely care about. Unfinished projects everywhere. I meant to write a polished self-care article over a week ago, and I’m just getting to it now. The dopamine hits of shipping a feature, beating a boss, and checking a box are great. They also became a way to avoid feeling feelings and facing what was right in front of me.

I haven’t seen my therapist in a while. Usually it’s weekly or every other week. Some days we just shoot the breeze; other days I sit down and start a simple recap, and then the gravity of what I’ve been carrying hits hard. Those are the moments where I’ve made the biggest changes—the ones where I realize autopilot has drifted off course and something needs correcting. Ever feel that way?

It’s wild how easy it is to talk about maintenance—of cars, of code, of everything else—and forget we need it too.

Gentle corrections, not overhauls

Book the therapist. I’ve put it off; I need that hour where the truth catches up.
Go to bed at a decent time. Not a perfect sleep protocol—just earlier than last week.
Cook simple, healthy meals. Protein, vegetables, water. No negotiations.
Lift a little lighter. Keep the habit, skip the heroics.
Face the pile. Open the stack of mail next to me, trash the junk, and make a small action list for what’s real.
Slow down with loved ones. Enjoy them on purpose.
Notice when hyperfocus is helping and when it’s hiding—and take breaks anyway.

None of this is revolutionary. That’s the point. When life wobbles, “advanced” is often avoidance in a lab coat.

Basic is brave.

Myth vs Practice

Competence and reliability grow from maintenance, not martyrdom.

Myth: Real men tough it out alone.
Practice: Real men maintain. Booking therapy and asking for help are maintenance moves, not weakness.

Myth: Productivity equals progress.
Practice: Progress includes rest, repair, and relationships. Lighter lifts and earlier nights protect what matters.

Myth: Feelings are a distraction.
Practice: Naming a feeling is data. It lets you choose a smaller, kinder correction before something breaks.

Practical: Mental Wellbeing Checklist

Choose three this week—keep it light, keep it real. Naming emotions often lowers their intensity; basic movement and sleep consistency lift mood for most.

Move your body 20–30 minutes most days; add two strength sessions if you can.
Sleep basics: consistent wake time, earlier lights-out, screens off 30–60 minutes before bed, caffeine cutoff in the afternoon.
Two-line journal daily: “What’s loud?” / “What’s kind?”
Breathing reset (2 minutes): 3 rounds of box breathing (4-4-4-4) or two physiological sighs + slow exhale.
PHQ-2 self-check once a week: “Little interest or pleasure?” “Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless?” If both are “more than several days,” book a professional conversation.
Connection ritual: text two friends “Body? Mind? One thing by Friday?” and answer your own.
Walk-and-talk: schedule one 30–60 minute walk with a friend this week.
Face one pile: 10-minute timer → trash, archive, action; stop when the timer ends.
Digital hygiene: unsubscribe or archive 10 emails; mute 3 non-essential notifications; set one daily Do Not Disturb hour.
Food and water: one protein-forward meal you cook + carry a water bottle today.
Alcohol and mood: if your week feels heavy, cut back or pause alcohol and notice the change in sleep and mood.
Professional care: book therapy or a primary-care check-in; ask for your results in writing. Know your numbers (BP, lipids)—it’s part of Movember’s bigger picture.
Crisis ready: save 988 in your contacts and write one name you’d call first.

Where Movember fits

Earlier this month, I wrote about why Movember matters—men’s mental and physical health, the conversations we need, and the lives behind the statistics. A mustache can start a conversation. Self-care keeps it going.
If you missed that post, it’s here: Grow More Than a Mustache